Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (part 101)
Educational Lessons from the Story of Luqman (AS)
Twelfth lesson: A Mother Should Fulfill the Child’s Right to Breastfeeding Until the Age of Two
Allah (SWT) says: وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ” [1]” Translation: And his weaning is within two years.
This verse points to the natural and essential period of breastfeeding, which is two complete years. If breastfeeding lasts for less than two years, the child may not receive an adequate amount of the mother’s milk, which is his natural and primary nourishment. Conversely, extending breastfeeding beyond two years generally provides no additional benefit and, in some cases, may even be detrimental to the child.
Mother’s milk is not only the child’s natural and primary source of nutrition during the first two years of life, but it also facilitates healthy development in various aspects. Through it, the child grows in a balanced manner physically, mentally, emotionally, and morally. Furthermore, breastfeeding nurtures within the child the seeds of love, affection, compassion, mercy, and kindness.
Moreover, modern scientific, medical, and educational research unanimously affirms that breastfeeding is the most effective means of ensuring the child’s natural and comprehensive development, playing a fundamental role in preserving health and promoting balanced growth.
Thirteenth lesson: Honoring the Rights of Parents. Allah Has Joined Gratitude to Them with Gratitude to Himself
Allah (SWT) says: (أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ [2]) Translation: Be grateful to Me and to your parents. To me is the final return.
This verse demonstrates the exalted status of parents’ rights and emphasizes the necessity of observing the proper order of rights and fulfilling them faithfully. Allah has placed gratitude to one’s parents alongside gratitude to Himself and has linked His pleasure with theirs. Therefore, children are obliged first to thank Allah for His immense blessings and then to express gratitude to their parents for the blessings of birth, upbringing, care, affection, love, and all the other favors they have bestowed upon them.
This verse also establishes that expressing gratitude to people who do good to others is both permissible and commendable, since gratitude toward one’s parents is explicitly commanded in the Qur’an.
Nevertheless, true gratitude ultimately belongs to Allah alone. Thanking benefactors is, in reality, an expression of gratitude to Allah, for it is He who grants them the ability and success to show kindness and benevolence. Thus, by thanking them, one is in fact thanking Allah.
Likewise, gratitude to one’s parents, although outwardly directed toward them, is ultimately gratitude to Allah, since He made them the means of a person’s existence and placed mercy, compassion, and parental affection in their hearts.
Gratitude to Allah means that a person does not use His blessings as instruments of disobedience, does not associate partners with Him, and obeys Him by performing the acts that earn His pleasure, such as prayer, fasting, Zakat, Hajj, and all other acts of worship He has prescribed.
It also requires venerating Allah and using every blessing He has bestowed only for the purpose for which it was created. Despite all of this, a person should acknowledge his inability to fully render the gratitude that Allah truly deserves. [3]
In summary, gratitude of the heart consists of recognition and awareness; gratitude of the tongue consists of praise and thanksgiving; gratitude of the limbs consists of obedience and righteous action; and acknowledging one’s inability to fulfill all these perfectly is itself a sign of sincere gratitude.
As for gratitude toward one’s parents, it manifests itself in numerous forms, all of which revolve around treating them with kindness and excellence. Among the most important are the following:
1. Continually thank Allah for the blessing of having parents. Allah the Exalted says: (أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ) [4] Translation: Be grateful to Me and to your parents. To me is the final return.
2. Always appreciate and thank one’s parents, for Allah has placed gratitude toward them alongside gratitude toward Himself. It is narrated from Ibn Abbas (RA) that he said, “Whoever thanks Allah but does not thank his parents, his gratitude will not be accepted.” [5]
3. Refrain from expressing even the slightest annoyance toward them or speaking harshly to them, especially during their old age. Allah the Exalted says: (إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا [6]) Translation: If one or both of them reach old age while with you, do not even say “uff” to them, nor rebuke them; rather, speak to them with gracious words.
4. Treat them with humility, gentleness, and compassion. Allah (SWT) says: (وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَة [7]) Translation: And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy.
This Qur’anic expression is remarkably eloquent and touching, portraying mercy as a quality that leads a person to the utmost humility and submissiveness before his parents. [8] Such compassion removes their feelings of loneliness when they become dependent upon their children, for parents have always desired to be the supporters of their children. This command therefore nurtures a spirit of gratitude for their past sacrifices.[9]
5. Provide for their financial needs, for Allah has commanded spending on one’s parents and has listed it among the finest forms of charity. Allah says: (يَسْأَلُونَكَ مَاذَا يُنْفِقُونَ قُلْ مَا أَنْفَقْتُمْ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَلِلْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ [10]) Translation: They ask you what they should spend. Say, “Whatever good you spend should be for your parents and close relatives.”
6. Stand up to greet them when they arrive; do not sit before they do; do not walk ahead of them; do not enter or leave before them; and do not call them by their personal names. Abu Hurayrah (RA) once saw a man and advised him: “Do not call him by his name, do not walk ahead of him, and do not sit before him.” [11]
7. Safeguard their honor and dignity and avoid every action that may cause others to insult them, for being the cause of one’s parents being insulted is among the gravest major sins.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Among the gravest major sins is that a man insults his own parents.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allah, how can someone insult his own parents?” He replied, “He insults another man’s father, and that man insults his father; or he insults another man’s mother, and that man insults his mother.” [12]
8. Respond promptly when they call, hasten to fulfill their needs, obey them, avoid interrupting their speech, refrain from arguing or disputing with them, never ridicule or reproach them, do not laugh loudly in their presence, and do not oppose them—unless they command disobedience to Allah, for there is no obedience to any created being in disobedience to the Creator.
Allah (SWT) says: (وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا [13]) Translation: But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them.
9. Increase acts of kindness toward them through giving gifts, expressing affection, doing whatever pleases them, protecting their property and belongings, ensuring their comfort, and avoiding disturbing them while they are sleeping or entering their room without permission.
10. Do not begin eating before they do, do not reserve the best food for yourself, do not recline in their presence, and do not sit in a place higher than theirs.
11. Greet them with Salam whenever you meet them, consult them in your affairs, benefit from their experience and wisdom, and accept their sincere advice.
12. Frequently supplicate and seek forgiveness for them, asking Allah the Exalted to reward them with the best recompense for their kindness, generosity, and excellent upbringing. [14]
To be continued…
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References:
[1]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:14.
[2]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:14.
[3]. Muhammad ibn Ahmad al-Qurtubi, Al-Jami’ li Ahkam al-Qur’an, Vol. 14, p. 65; Mahmud al-Alusi, Ruh al-Ma’ani, Vol. 21, pp. 86–87.
[4]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:14.
[5]. Shams al-Din al-Dhahabi, Al-Kaba’ir, Beirut: Dar al-Jil, 1426 AH, p. 38.
[6]. Quran, Surah Al-Isra, 17:23.
[7]. Quran, Surah Al-Isra, 17:24.
[8]. Sayyid Qutb, Fi Zilal al-Qur’an, Vol. 4, p. 2221.
[9]. Muhammad al-Tahir Ibn Ashur, Al-Tahrir wa al-Tanwir, Vol. 15, p. 70.
[10]. Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:215.
[11]. Jalal al-Din al-Suyuti, Tahdhir al-Khawas min Akadhib al-Qussas, Beirut: Al-Maktab al-Islami, 1404 AH, p. 51.
[12]. Narrated by Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Hadith No. 5628; Sahih Muslim, Book of Faith, Hadith No. 259; and Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Manners, Hadith No. 5142.
[13]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:15.
[14]. Mawsu’at al-Usrah, published by the Higher Advisory Committee for Completing the Implementation of Islamic Sharia.
