Envy and rivalry are very common and fundamental issues among today’s women, which they absolutely do not abandon and consider it a form of competition, never wanting to fall behind those they are competing with! Envy and rivalry mean that a person feels inferior when seeing others’ lives and becomes determined to obtain, at any cost, the resources that others have. This phenomenon is one of the significant factors that can steer a shared life towards tension, coldness, and incompatibility. Nowadays, women are constantly on the lookout to see what others have acquired for themselves and their homes so that they can surpass them.
This behavior is a major factor that can lead to tension, coldness, and conflict in marital life. Today, many women constantly watch what others buy for their homes or themselves so they can try to outdo them. If a neighbor or relative buys a new dress or shoes, a woman driven by envy insists on getting the same—even if it is expensive or beyond her means. What matters to her is not the cost or how the money is obtained, but that she doesn’t fall behind others. She seldom considers the burden this places on her husband, who may have to go to great lengths to afford these things—only to satisfy her desire to keep up with others.
Some women even compete with their own daughters-in-law, waiting eagerly to see what new item has entered their son’s home so they can acquire it for themselves. Truly, such behavior is unfortunate and disappointing.
Some of the most harmful effects of this attitude include the spread of extravagance, increased disputes between spouses, and the loss of warmth in the home. Avoiding envy and rivalry is one of the key ways to live a happy and successful life. The more a society distances itself from such behavior—and spends within its means while remaining mindful of those with less—the more likely its people are to find contentment.
A person constantly chasing after others’ luxuries will lose the qualities of contentment and self-sufficiency, and will always feel needy and unfulfilled. This sense of lack breeds dissatisfaction with one’s own life. Without appreciating her husband’s good qualities or her own blessings, such a person ends up longing for someone else’s life. This longing can shake not only her own peace but the foundation of her marriage.
A woman who sets the material lifestyle of others as her standard will eventually try to make up for her perceived lack. In doing so, she causes herself hardship and pressures her husband to go to unreasonable lengths—even through unlawful means—to fulfill her desires. This robs both of their peace of mind and pushes them to pursue their wants without regard for the consequences.
By Allah, if today’s women competed in matters of religion the way they do in worldly possessions, there would be no woman without modesty or prayer in our society! But sadly, the opposite is now true: instead of striving to outdo one another in worship—like prayer, fasting, charity, or recitation of the Qur’an—they compete in matters of this fleeting world. This kind of rivalry is sinful and yields nothing but financial strain for husbands and jealousy between women. Far from bringing any good, it only brings sin and potential punishment. The best solution is simply to stop.
Dear sisters! To protect yourselves from the harm of envy and rivalry, one effective approach is to reduce contact with those who are obsessed with the glitter and attractions of the world. This helps prevent the urge to compete. Allah the Exalted warned the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) against looking with longing at the temporary enjoyments of others: (وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَى مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَوةِ الدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَى) Translation: “Do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] pairs among them—the splendor of worldly life—by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.”
That is, what Allah has allotted for you in terms of worldly provision and the reward of the Hereafter is far better than the fleeting wealth He has given to the disbelievers.
From the Islamic point of view, the way to protect oneself from the harm of envy is for both husband and wife to compare themselves with those who have less, and to visit such people. This not only helps prevent envy but also instills a spirit of gratitude and contentment. Allah distributes His blessings based on wisdom and as a test for His servants, yet many people—without considering this divine purpose—focus only on appearances and long for worldly glitter.
Therefore, we must always be thankful for what Allah has given us and adopt the way of contentment, so we can remain safe from this ugly and destructive behavior.
Avoiding Extravagance (Isrāf)
Isrāf means overstepping bounds—whether in quantity or quality. It can occur when wealth is spent inappropriately (in quantity), or when something rightful is done in excess (in quality). The optimal use of Allah’s blessings is strongly emphasized in both the Qur’an and Hadith.
Unfortunately, in today’s society, due to factors such as poor consumer habits, aggressive advertising, rising materialism, flawed traditions, and competitive imitation among families, enormous amounts of wealth are wasted. Women, in particular, are often at risk of isrāf, engaging in wasteful practices for various reasons that contradict Islamic teachings. This includes extravagance in weddings, clothing, home décor, cosmetics, and more.
Lavish spending in wedding ceremonies—often done out of envy—can prevent some people from getting married altogether because of the heavy financial burden. Islam, being a religion that encourages happiness and marriage, opposes wastefulness, extravagance, and sin. Yet today, many weddings are influenced by wrong cultural trends and Western lifestyles.
The rise of satellite TV and misleading advertisements has introduced endless new fashions and created more opportunities for wastefulness among some women. But we must remember that Islam is a religion of moderation, and moderation is praised in all aspects of life.
In conclusion, isrāf and tabzīr (reckless spending) are prohibited and condemned in Islam. As followers of this faith, we must act according to its teachings—avoiding waste and maintaining balance. We pray for a time when all actions are performed with moderation and reason.
By admin2
