Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (part 100)
Educational Lessons from the Story of Luqman the Wise (AS)
Tenth Lesson: Fulfilling Parents’ Duties Toward Their Children Is Innate, Whereas Children’s Kindness to Their Parents Requires Continuous Striving and Reminder
One of the significant educational lessons derived from the verses of the Noble Qur’an and the counsels of Luqman the Wise (AS) is that Islam places greater emphasis on reminding children of their duties toward their parents than on reminding parents of their responsibilities toward their children.
For this reason, the command to show kindness and gratitude to one’s parents is repeatedly emphasized throughout the Noble Qur’an and the Prophetic traditions. By contrast, exhortations directed specifically to parents regarding the rights of their children are comparatively fewer and generally appear in particular contexts, such as the prohibition of burying infant daughters alive during the pre-Islamic era of ignorance.
The wisdom behind this distinction is that Allah (SWT) has naturally instilled love and compassion for children in the hearts of parents. Fathers and mothers are instinctively inclined to care for and protect their children, for the continuation of the human race depends upon this natural affection and self-sacrifice.
Parents dedicate their physical health, emotional well-being, strength, time, youth, and even their entire lives to the upbringing and comfort of their children. They endure countless hardships without considering them a burden or expecting gratitude. Rather, they often make these sacrifices with joy, affection, and willingness, as though they themselves derive happiness from serving their children.
Thus, human nature itself motivates parents to nurture and protect their children, requiring little external reminder. Children, however, require continual admonition so that they do not become heedless of their parents’ sacrifices and may truly appreciate all that has been done for them.
Every child should recognize that their parents devoted the finest years of their lives to raising them. They invested their physical strength, emotional energy, and life’s resources in preparing a secure future for their children, while they themselves gradually advanced toward old age and physical weakness.
For this reason, no child can ever fully repay the rights of his or her parents, even if an entire lifetime is spent in serving them, because the sacrifices parents make for their children can never be fully recompensed.
To remind humanity of some of these sacrifices, particularly those borne by the mother, the Holy Qur’an states: (وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ) Translation: And We have enjoined upon man goodness toward his parents. His mother carried him through weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is completed in two years. Therefore, be grateful to Me and to your parents. To me is the final return.
This verse presents a profound and moving portrayal of a mother’s sacrifices. The expression “weakness upon weakness” vividly describes the hardships of pregnancy, during which a mother lovingly carries her child despite enduring considerable physical and emotional difficulties. Thereafter comes the period of nursing and caring for the infant, which the Qur’an identifies as lasting two years. Consequently, the mother bears the greater share of the hardships associated with raising a child, and for this reason she occupies a uniquely honored position in Islamic guidance. [2]
Eleventh Lesson: The Special Emphasis on the Mother Also Encompasses the Father
In the Qur’anic verses concerning kindness toward parents, Allah (SWT) sometimes mentions the mother specifically and highlights some of the hardships she endures. This special mention does not diminish the father’s rights. Rather, it reflects the fact that the mother bears the more visible hardships of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing. At the same time, emphasizing the mother implicitly includes the father as well.
The father likewise shoulders tremendous responsibilities in raising his children. He strives to provide for the family’s needs, protects his wife and children, and after the period of infancy assumes a vital role in the child’s education, moral upbringing, guidance, and protection until the child reaches maturity and independence.
The Noble Qur’an, while describing the shared responsibility of both parents in raising their children, states (وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا), Translation: “And say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them, just as they nurtured and raised me when I was small.'”
In this verse, Allah attributes the blessing of nurturing and raising a child to both parents. Therefore, although Surah Luqman specifically highlights the mother’s hardships, this serves both as a reminder of her distinctive sacrifices and as an affirmation of the rights of both parents.
After mentioning the mother’s hardships, Allah (SWT) says: (أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ) Translation: Be grateful to Me and to your parents.
He also says (وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا), translation: “And accompany them in this world with kindness.”
These expressions clearly demonstrate that the obligation of kindness, respect, and gratitude applies equally to both parents. [6] “Weakness Upon Weakness”: A Qur’anic Portrait of a Mother’s Hardships
Allah (SWT) says regarding the mother: (حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ) Translation: His mother carried him through weakness upon weakness.
The word “weakness” denotes frailty and physical debility. This verse describes a clear reality: throughout pregnancy, a mother experiences various forms of weakness and hardship.
These difficulties begin at the very onset of pregnancy and may include nausea, loss of appetite, exhaustion, physical and emotional changes, and many other challenges. They continue throughout the later months of pregnancy, and their effects often remain even after childbirth.
The expression “weakness upon weakness” indicates that these hardships are neither temporary nor isolated but consist of successive and accumulating difficulties. The Qur’an intentionally employs this comprehensive expression to encompass every dimension of a mother’s suffering, including physical weakness, emotional and psychological fatigue, diminished strength and energy, difficulty performing daily tasks, emotional pressures, and the pains and anxieties associated with pregnancy and the period following childbirth.
Yet, despite all these hardships, the remarkable reality is that a mother bears them with love and willing devotion, considering them part of her noble mission as a mother. This is among the manifestations of Allah’s perfect wisdom: He has placed profound love for the child within the mother’s heart, thereby enabling her to endure these immense sacrifices with patience and affection. [8]
To be continued…
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References:
[1]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:14.
[2]. Sayyid Qutb, Fi Zilal al-Qur’an, Vol. 5, p. 2788.
[3]. Quran, Surah Al-Isra, 17:24.
[4]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:14.
[5]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:15.
[6]. Muhammad al-Tahir Ibn Ashur, Al-Tahrir wa al-Tanwir, Vol. 21, p. 158.
[7]. Quran, Surah Luqman, 31:14.
[8]. Salah Abd al-Fattah al-Khalidi, Maʿa Qisas al-Sabiqin fi al-Qur’an, Vol. 3, pp. 154–157.
