Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (Part 29)
Educational Lessons from the Story of Noah (peace be upon him)
Besides his responsibility as a father, Noah (peace be upon him) was also a prophet tasked with calling people to righteousness and the religion of Allah the Almighty. Therefore, it was obligatory for him to continue delivering his message to his people until the very last moments of his life—just as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) did with many individuals, including his uncle (Abu Talib). The hope behind this was that perhaps in the final moments of life, someone might listen to the call, respond to it, submit to its requirements, and thereby change their destiny from the Hellfire to Paradise.
Thus, steadfastness, hope, and never despairing in calling to the truth—even in seemingly hopeless situations—are essential principles, because one never knows when hearts will become receptive to the truth.
Fifth Lesson: The Vital Role of a Righteous Wife in Child Upbringing
It is incumbent upon fathers to be extremely careful in choosing righteous and devout wives, committed to the religion of Allah. The reason is the direct and deep influence of the mother on the children:
– The mother carries the child in her womb for several months.
– After birth, she holds the child in her arms and breastfeeds him for an extended and important period.
– Most importantly, the mother has a strong and direct impact on the formation of the child’s psyche and character. She plays an active and foundational role in the child’s upbringing and nurturing.
Providing a Righteous Environment and Choosing Good Companions
In addition to choosing a righteous wife, fathers must also provide a righteous environment for their children, so they are raised according to the Islamic methodology and noble principles and values. This environment includes sound and proper education from an early age, which must be based on the Book of Allah (the Qur’an) and the Sunnah of His Messenger.
Likewise, fathers must do their utmost to ensure that their children’s friends are righteous individuals so that their own children grow up righteous and virtuous as well. Companionship has a profound influence on individuals. The old proverb, “الصاحب ساحب” (“A companion pulls you along with them”) points to this very fact.
Ultimately, not only fathers but all educators must apply the best and most effective methods for the upbringing of children and others. These methods should be diverse, gradual, and well-suited, so they leave a deeper and longer-lasting impact, ultimately leading to a response and acceptance from the children and those being nurtured. This comprehensive approach—which includes choosing a righteous spouse, creating an appropriate educational environment, monitoring friendships, and using effective educational methods—is the key to raising a committed and righteous generation.
Sixth Lesson: Gentleness and Compassion in Calling and Advising Children
This approach is derived from how Prophet Noah (peace be upon him) addressed his son using the phrase “يَا بُنَيَّ” (“O my dear little son”).
Noah’s call with the words “يَا بُنَيَّ”, which carries a sense of endearment and tenderness, reflects his compassion, kindness, and mercy. This phrase evokes parental affection in the listener, with the hope that the child would pay attention to his father’s call, reflect on what is being said, listen attentively, benefit from it, and eventually respond positively.
This way of beginning a conversation with one’s children is an excellent example of wisdom in parenting. Fathers and educators—even when their children are in the wrong—should speak to them using words that stir their emotions and convey feelings of love and care. Perhaps this approach will open the children’s hearts and lead to obedience and compliance.
A Lesson for Educators and Preachers
This method also serves as a vital lesson for educators and preachers. They must speak to those they are nurturing or inviting to the religion of Allah in a way that shows warmth, affection, and care. This will attract people to them and to their message, rather than drive them away.
It is also recommended to call people by their favorite names, as this affects their psyche and draws them closer, making them more willing to listen, respond, and be guided. Allah the Exalted says: “ٱدْعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِٱلْحِكْمَةِ وَٱلْمَوْعِظَةِ ٱلْحَسَنَةِ ۖ وَجَـٰدِلْهُم بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَن ضَلَّ عَن سَبِيلِهِۦ ۖ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِٱلْمُهْتَدِينَ” Translation: “Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.”
The first and most important reason for adopting this method lies in human nature. People’s hearts are naturally drawn to those from whom they feel love, compassion, and sincere concern. When a teacher or preacher speaks in a dry, harsh, commanding, or indifferent tone—even if the message is true—it builds an invisible wall between the speaker and the listener. This wall prevents the words from penetrating the heart and soul of the listener.
In contrast, when the audience senses that you truly care about them, want what is good for them, and are speaking out of genuine concern, they subconsciously lower their defenses and become more open to listening and accepting.
Practical Ways for Educators and Preachers to Express Affection and Compassion:
Use a calm and pleasant tone: The tone of speech is the first thing the listener perceives. A calm, kind, and non-judgmental tone is the first step toward earning trust.
Choose positive and encouraging words: Even when advising or pointing out mistakes, one can use words that are constructive and focus more on guidance and encouragement for change.
Call them by names they love: As mentioned earlier, calling people by their preferred names or using respectful and affectionate titles has a significant impact in drawing them closer.
Give importance to listening: A good educator listens more than they speak. Active and attentive listening shows respect and care, making the listener feel valued.
Understand the audience’s context: Every person has unique life circumstances, experiences, and challenges. A compassionate educator tries to understand these and gives advice accordingly, instead of issuing generalized judgments.
Avoid humiliation and blame: Never belittle or shame someone for their mistakes. The goal is to correct and guide, not to crush their spirit.
Be patient and consistent: Upbringing and da‘wah (calling to truth) take time. The effects of kindness and compassion may not appear immediately. Persistence in mercy and not giving up is the key to success on this path.
Continues…
Previous Part / Next Part
[1] Surah An-Nahl: 125
