Author: Abdul Hameed Nowrozi
How Should I Raise My Child (Part 10)
The Correct Way to Instruct a Child
One of the most important aspects of raising a child is how to give instructions so that they can understand and implement them effectively.
Commands that are usually ineffective share one or more of the following characteristics:
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Chain Commands: These are commands given to the child one after the other, which can overwhelm them, as they may not be able to remember all of them and might forget some. For instance: “Get dressed, brush your teeth, comb your hair, then come and have breakfast.” It is better to divide the commands into smaller parts and ask the child to complete each one individually.
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Ambiguous or Unclear Instructions: Such instructions can cause confusion in children. For example, instead of telling children to “be good,” it is better to provide clear and specific instructions. Instead, you might say, “Play with your toys together and slowly,” so that the children know exactly what to do. These types of clear instructions help guide children towards appropriate behavior.
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Interrogative Commands: In these types of commands, the child is asked if they would like to do something. For example: “Do you like to clean your room?” A stubborn child may respond with, “No, I don’t like it.” In such instructions, we give the child a semblance of choice, making it less likely they will comply.
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Commands Followed by Reasons and Logic: For example, saying, “Hurry up and tidy up your room; because we have guests tonight and I’m worried and angry that the house is messy.” In this case, the child may forget the main command due to the added information. It is more effective to frame it like this: “We have guests tonight, and the messy house makes me anxious and angry. Please pack your things as soon as possible.” This approach explains the context before issuing the command, which can lead to better compliance.
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