Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (part 96)
Educational Guidelines from the Story of Luqman the Wise (AS)
Fourth Guideline: Encouraging Humility and Gentleness in Dealing with People
After Luqman the Wise (AS) advised his son regarding matters that perfect one’s character and contribute to the reform of society, he then guided him concerning proper manners in social interactions. He said: (وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ) Translation: “Do not turn your cheek away from people in arrogance, nor walk upon the earth with pride and exultation. Indeed, Allah does not love any arrogant boaster.” [1]
The word “saʿar” refers to a disease that affects a camel and causes its neck to become twisted. Accordingly, the phrase “وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ” means that a person should meet people with a pleasant face and humility and should not turn away from them as the arrogant do.
It also signifies that one should not avert his face from others out of self-conceit, contempt for people, or a sense of superiority.
Luqman (AS) then says: (وَلَا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا) Translation: “And do not walk upon the earth with pride and exultation.” [2]
That is, do not walk in a manner characterized by ostentation, arrogance, disdain for others, or boastfulness. Those who possess such traits are often afflicted with pride and self-importance, and these qualities become evident even in the way they walk.
For this reason, Allah the Exalted says elsewhere: (وَلَا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا إِنَّكَ لَنْ تَخْرِقَ الْأَرْضَ وَلَنْ تَبْلُغَ الْجِبَالَ طُولًا) Translation: “And do not walk upon the earth arrogantly, for you can neither pierce the earth nor reach the mountains in height.” [3]
Luqman (AS) further warns his son against incurring Allah’s displeasure, saying: (إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ) Translation: “Indeed, Allah does not love any arrogant boaster.” [4]
This statement explains the reason for prohibiting arrogance and boastfulness.
A “mukhtal” is a person who behaves with pride and self-admiration, while a “fakhur” is one who boasts about his wealth, status, lineage, power, or other advantages over others.
However, speaking about Allah’s blessings out of gratitude is not included in this prohibition, for Allah the Exalted says, (وَأَمَّا بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ فَحَدِّثْ) Translation: “And proclaim the blessings of your Lord.” [5]
In general, the purpose of these prohibitions is to distance people from blameworthy traits that are harmful and destructive both to the individual and to society.
Fifth Guideline: Observing Proper Etiquette in Walking and Speaking
After warning his son against undesirable character traits, Luqman the Wise (AS) directed him toward noble manners and said, “وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ.” Translation: “Be moderate in your walk and lower your voice; indeed, the most unpleasant of sounds is the braying of donkeys.” [6]
The meaning of “وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ” is that a person should observe moderation in walking. He should walk neither so slowly and sluggishly that it reflects weakness and laziness nor so quickly and arrogantly that it indicates pride and self-display. Rather, the believer’s manner of walking should be characterized by dignity, composure, and moderation.
Allah further says: (وَاغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ) Translation: “And lower your voice.” [7]
This means that one should not raise his voice excessively while speaking, for shouting and unnecessarily loud speech are inconsistent with dignity and wisdom. A believer should maintain courtesy, calmness, and composure in his speech.
To illustrate the ugliness of raising one’s voice without reason, Allah compares it to the sound of a donkey and says: (إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ) Translation: “Indeed, the most unpleasant and disagreeable of sounds is the braying of donkeys.”
This comparison demonstrates that shouting and unnecessarily raising one’s voice are signs of poor manners and a departure from noble character. A wise person should therefore avoid such behavior.
To be continued…
References:
- Qur’an, Surat Luqman (31), verse 18.
- Al-Zamakhshari, Jar Allah Maḥmūd, Al-Kashshaf, p. 837.
- Al-Andalusī, Abū Muḥammad ʿAbd al-Haqq Ibn ʿAṭiyyah, Al-Muḥarrar al-Wajīz fī Tafsīr al-Kitāb al-ʿAzīz, p. 1487.
- Muḥammad al-Ṭāhir Ibn ʿĀshūr, Al-Taḥrīr wa al-Tanwīr, vol. 21, p. 162; Sayyid Quṭb, Fī Ẓilāl al-Qurʾān, vol. 5, p. 2790; Al-Andalusī, Abū Muḥammad ʿAbd al-Ḥaqq Ibn ʿAṭiyyah, Al-Muḥarrar al-Wajīz fī Tafsīr al-Kitāb al-ʿAzīz, p. 1487.
- Qur’an, Sūrat Al-Isrāʾ (17), verse 37.
- Qur’an, Sūrat Al-Ḍuḥā (93), verse 11.
- Qur’an, Sūrat Luqmān (31), verse 19.
