Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (part 65)
Lesson Three: Turning to One’s Father Before Others in Important Matters
The fact that Prophet Yusuf (PBUH) presented his dream to his father without involving others indicates that when a child faces an issue, he should first turn to his father and inform him especially if the father is a person of knowledge and compassion toward his children. If the dream or matter contains harm, the father will repel it, and if it contains goodness, he will encourage him toward it and make it beloved to him.
In this regard, Tafsir al-Qasimi states: Yusuf (PBUH) spoke about this matter only with his father (PBUH) because he believed that his father possessed complete knowledge and compassion toward him, such that if his dream contained something unpleasant, the father could prevent it from reaching him. [1]
Whenever Allah, the Almighty, intends a great matter, He sets a prelude before it to prepare the ground and make its occurrence easy, and to prepare the servant for the difficulties that will come to him; this being out of His kindness and beneficence to His servant. This is exactly what Allah did with Prophet Yusuf (PBUH), for his dream was a prelude to the lofty rank that he (PBUH) attained in this world and the hereafter. [2]
Lesson Four: The Necessity of Parents Paying Attention to the Psychological States of Their Children
Among the fundamental and unshakeable principles in raising children’s principles that strengthen emotional bonds and affection between them is the attention and care that parents must give to the inner conditions and psychological states of their children. This matter is not merely a passing educational recommendation; rather, it is an essential principle upon which the stability and well-being of family relationships in the present, and their continuation in the future, depend.
If this psychological aspect is ignored or neglected, seeds of discord and unhealthy rivalry may be sown among the children, negatively affecting their relationships; so much so that affection and brotherhood may turn into ashes of resentment and envy. On the other hand, paying careful attention to this matter, by the will of Allah, ensures the continuation of brotherly relations in the most beautiful and noble form: relations built upon sincere love, true compassion, and cooperation in goodness and piety.
To put this principle into practice and to benefit from its valuable fruits, it is necessary for parents especially the father to act with full insight and sound judgment. For example, if a father observes a blessing or gift (such as talent, success, material means, or similar) in one of his children, and at the same time realizes that expressing or displaying this blessing by that child could create feelings of jealousy and resentment in the hearts of the other siblings, then in such a situation it becomes obligatory for the father to prevent that child from openly displaying that blessing.
Of course, this warning and guidance from the father is conditioned by two essential requirements:
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The child who possesses the blessing must have a reasonable level of wisdom and maturity, such that he can weigh matters with the scale of intellect and understanding and be able to comprehend the reasoning and wisdom behind his father’s instruction. Otherwise, if the child lacks this level of understanding and mindfulness, the advice may become fruitless or even have the opposite effect.
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This paternal advice must be accompanied by encouragement and motivation for that very child. The father should encourage him to build emotional capacity, broaden his heart, and be patient regarding any possible annoyance or harm that may come from the other children. In this way, the father simultaneously prevents the emergence of something that could cause corruption or bitterness within the family environment and teaches his child how to rise above hardships with magnanimity and patience, strengthening his personality and resilience in the face of difficulties.
In this manner, a household that is run according to this principle becomes not only a center of love and emotional security, but also a nurturing ground that prepares children under the shade of this sound upbringing to become responsible citizens and capable individuals within society.
Lesson Five: Jealousy is More Common Among Relatives and Its Effect is More Destructive
Another lesson derived from the story of Prophet Ya‘qub (PBUH) is the destructive impact of jealousy among relatives. Jealousy is considered a major and deep-rooted sin that can even arise among family members; in fact, its occurrence among close kin is more likely and more immediate than among non-relatives. This ugly feeling drives its possessor to commit acts such as lying, severing family ties, and disobedience to parents.
As occurred in the story of the son of Adam (PBUH) who killed his brother, and in the case of the brothers of Prophet Yusuf (PBUH) who conspired against him and distanced him from his father.
Indeed, it is Satan who plants hatred and jealousy in human hearts. Therefore, this story and other Quranic narratives serve as a warning for both children and adults against the whisperings of Satan and indicate the deep-seated enmity between him and the children of Adam.
To be continued…
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References:
- . Muhammad Jamal al-Din ibn Muhammad, al-Qasimi, Mahasin al-Ta’wil, vol. 9, p. 187.
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. Abdulrahman ibn Nasir, al-Sa‘di, Taysir al-Rahman fi Tafsir Kalam al-Mannan, Saudi Arabia: Dar al-Salam, 1422 AH, p. 453.
