The Comfort of Both Worlds Lies in These Two Words: “Be kind to friends, and tolerant with foes.”
Abstract
Fellowship is one of the most distinguished human traits that Allah has described in the Qur’an as a divine blessing and mercy. As a noble moral virtue, fellowship plays a vital role in both individual and social ethics. It is among the essential principles that greatly influence human relationships and is necessary for the general peace of society. This virtue encompasses many others such as humility, human affection, patience, self-restraint, suppressing anger, avoiding hostility, refraining from harshness and conflict, shunning foul speech, leniency, and responding to evil with goodness. Linguistically, fellowship means gentleness and avoidance of confrontation with others for the sake of peace.
This moral virtue elevates a person to high ranks in this world and the Hereafter. Fellowship has a profoundly constructive role in family and social life. Life is full of unpleasant events, and if one does not base their interactions on fellowship but instead chooses harshness and violence, both their social reputation and spiritual well-being will be harmed.
Fellowship is among the most important factors in strengthening family bonds and is a clear manifestation of good character. The stability of the family foundation through kindness provides an ideal ground for raising healthy and happy generations. The lack of proper interaction within the family causes discord, tension, and psychological insecurity; hence, discussing the benefits and effects of fellowship in establishing healthy family relationships is essential. The goal is to enhance the spirit of harmony between spouses and to highlight the virtues of fellowship within the family.
In married life, family members may sometimes possess characteristics or habits that are difficult for others to tolerate. What ensures the continuation of such a shared life is fellowship.
Introduction
The family is the most delicate and important social unit, consisting of at least two individuals—a husband and a wife. This small society manifests the most intimate relationship between two people who often have little prior acquaintance, yet it becomes the foundation for nurturing new human beings. Thus, the family is the most fundamental social institution. The creation and maintenance of a loving relationship require a strong foundation to help its members reach perfection. Islam, as the final and most complete divine religion, presents principles for achieving a peaceful and harmonious life—one of the most essential being gentleness and fellowship within the family and society.
Lexicographers define “gentleness and fellowship” as kindness, softness, and the avoidance of violence. Fellowship plays a vital role in family and social life. The continuity of religion and worldly peace, abundance of blessings, strengthening of friendships, concealment of faults, and elimination of enmity are all among the fruits of fellowship.
Fellowship is one of the central moral concepts in the Qur’an. The scope of its meaning is so wide that it can be considered an independent ethical domain, encompassing related notions such as forgiveness, patience, peace, and mercy.
The Qur’an instructs: خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ Translation: “Hold to forgiveness, enjoin what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Al-A‘raf 7:199)
And also: وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ Translation: “Good and evil are not equal. Repel evil with what is better, and the one who was your enemy will become your close friend.” (Fussilat 41:34)
From the Qur’an and Hadith, fellowship conveys meanings such as gentleness, kindness, endurance, generosity, and openness. Lexicographers define fellowship (الرفق) as: “الرِّفْقُ: اللُّطْفُ وَهُوَ ضِدُّ العُنْفِ” Translation: Gentleness, which is the opposite of harshness.
In human interactions—especially within families—some degree of discomfort or conflict is inevitable. But if harshness and violence dominate relationships, human energy will be wasted in tension, and life’s higher purpose will be lost.
The principle of fellowship allows one’s energy and abilities to be directed toward noble goals. When the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was commissioned, Allah (SWT) revealed: خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ Translation: “Hold to forgiveness, enjoin what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.”
The Importance of Fellowship in Islam
The significance of fellowship is evident in that it is among the divine attributes:
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: «إِنَّ اللهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ، وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ» Translation: “Indeed, Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants through gentleness what He does not grant through harshness.”
He also said: «رَأْسُ الْعَقْلِ بَعْدَ الإِيمَانِ بِاللَّهِ مُدَارَاةُ النَّاسِ» Translation: “The essence of wisdom, after faith in Allah, is fellowship with people.”
Thus, it can be concluded that the outcome of true intellect is fellowship with others.
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