Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (Part 42)
Lesson Four: Using Affectionate Words and Wise Methods in Preaching and Nurturing
In the sensitive and important process of nurturing and inviting towards the truth, it is not only the content of speech that matters, but also the manner of expression and the choice of words, which play a vital role. From the story of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him), we learn a great lesson in how to open the doors of hearts with gentleness and affection.
One of the most subtle aspects in the words of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) to his father is his repeated use of the phrase “يَا أَبَتِ” (“O my dear father”). He addressed his father several times with this affectionate and intimate expression. This was not merely a matter of courtesy; rather, it was a conscious effort to stir paternal emotions and establish a heartfelt bond. With this warm tone, Ibrahim (peace be upon him) showed his father that his aim was sincere advice out of compassion and care.
Another important principle that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) observed was that he never began the discussion by insulting or belittling his father’s idols or beliefs. He did not say: “These idols are nonsense and worthless.” Instead, he began with a logical and compassionate question:“لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لَا يَسْمَعُ وَلَا يُبْصِرُ” Translation: “Why do you worship that which neither hears nor sees?”
This question was not an accusation; rather, it was an invitation to reflection. From the perspective of educational psychology, this method is very wise. When a person feels that his beliefs are being attacked or ridiculed, he instinctively becomes defensive and refuses to listen to anything further. In such a state, even if the words are true, they will not find a way into his heart. By this method, Ibrahim (peace be upon him) kept the doors of dialogue open instead of closing them from the start, inviting reflection instead of resistance.
He guided his father from a concrete fact (idols that neither hear nor see) to a mental conclusion (therefore, they are not worthy of worship). This method allows the listener to realize his mistake on his own, and such self-realization paves the way for acceptance of change.
This part of the life of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) teaches us that the secret of success in nurturing and calling others lies in a combination of affection, respect, and wisdom. Using kind words, avoiding insults, and employing logical and persuasive methods not only preserve the human dignity of the listener but also smooth the path for guiding him in the best possible way.
Lesson Five: Gentleness and Humility in Preaching and Nurturing:
In Prophet Ibrahim’s (peace be upon him) call to his father, deeper lessons are hidden that go beyond affectionate speech and emphasize the fundamental principle of humility in guiding others. Ibrahim (peace be upon him) says to his father: “يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي قَدْ جَاءَنِي مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَمْ يَأْتِكَ فَاتَّبِعْنِي أَهْدِكَ صِرَاطًا سَوِيًّا” Translation: “O my father! A knowledge (through Divine revelation) has come to me that has not come to you, so follow me, and I will guide you to a straight path.”
In this short sentence lies profound wisdom. Ibrahim (peace be upon him) carefully avoids arrogance and boastfulness. Instead of bluntly saying: “I am knowledgeable and you are ignorant,” he says: “Knowledge has come to me that has not reached you.” This tone conveys that knowledge and guidance are gifts from Almighty Allah, not a result of his own inherent superiority. Such phrasing prevents his father from rejecting his words due to age differences or paternal authority. Ibrahim’s message was that although he is younger, the source of guidance is Divine, not personal.
This subtle point from the life of Ibrahim (peace be upon him) is a great lesson for all educators, reformers, and preachers. It teaches us that in guiding and inviting others, we should not focus on ourselves, our status, or our knowledge; the real message should be about truth itself, not the one who conveys it.
A successful mentor never boasts in debates nor becomes angry over trivial reasons. He dedicates himself wholeheartedly to guiding his students and audience—with humility, patience, and perseverance in the face of challenges.
Moreover, this principle reminds us of a greater responsibility towards our parents and relatives. The most important form of kindness to parents and maintaining family ties is to invite them to the sincere worship of Allah and the abandonment of falsehood and misguidance. This invitation must be with wisdom and gentle exhortation, yet at the same time, the truth should be expressed clearly and directly—because saving them from misguidance is the highest form of love and kindness.
In every mission of teaching and inviting, more than words and arguments, it is the character and conduct of the preacher and mentor that has the greatest impact. As we saw in the story of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him), he did not rely solely on logic and wisdom, but combined them with courtesy and humility to open the way into his father’s heart. This principle serves as a roadmap for all who wish to light the lamp of guidance in others’ hearts. A successful preacher and mentor, beyond knowledge and skills, is one who possesses:
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Humility: modesty and avoidance of self-importance;
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Forbearance: the ability to listen patiently and endure opposing views;
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Avoidance of envy and hatred: a pure heart that seeks good for all;
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Anger only for Allah’s sake: self-control and righteous indignation.
Continues…
