Author: M. Asem Ismail Zahi
The Importance and position of Marriage from the Perspective of Medicine (Part 3)
The Quran and the good Sunnah of marriage
The Qur’anic verses show that the family is the most fundamental and the first institution of society: “يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالاً كَثِيراً وَنِسَاء وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءلُونَ بِهِ وَالأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيباً.” Translation: “O mankind! Fear your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created from it its mate, and from the two of them spread out many men and women. And fear Allah, in whose name you call upon one another, and beware of (disobeying) your relatives. Indeed, Allah is ever over you a Guardian and Protector.” [1]
The purpose of forming a family, in the light of the Quran, is to provide mental health, peace and comfort for its members, especially the husband and wife and children: “وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجاً لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآياتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ” Translation: “And among His signs is this: He created for you from among yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who reflect.” [2]
In this verse, Allah Almighty mentions that in marriage, couples find peace of mind and can overcome the challenges of life together.
Because one of the natural needs of human is intimacy, affection and love, in such a way that living alone is very painful for him; therefore, he needs someone who is his confidant, so that he can become intimate with him, share his pain and his secrets, so that he can benefit from his consolations and condolences and thereby find comfort and peace of mind.
In the meantime, the best person who can satisfy this natural need is a man’s wife; because all affections and friendships are temporary and limited except for the friendship and love of a husband and wife; because they form a unit and have a common goal and need each other more than any other person, it is permanent and unlimited.
“وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمْ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَاَللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيم.” Translation: “Marry your single men and women, and your righteous male and female slaves, if they are poor and needy, Allah will make them free from need out of His bounty. Allah is All- evolvement, All-Knowing.” [3]
This verse encourages marriage. Young men and women are also given the good news that their problems will be solved after marriage in the event of poverty and financial need.
“وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنْ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلَّا تَعُولُوا.” Translation: “And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphans (marrying orphan girls), then marry such of the women as you find good, two or three or four (not more). But if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly with them, then marry only one, or if you have a slave-girl, then keep her; that is nearer to justice and to avoiding injustice.” [4]
In part of this verse, it is mentioned that you should marry pure women. This verse means that you should go to people of your own kind for marriage. It also talks about the importance of justice in polygamy, otherwise women will be oppressed in this marriage.
“هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ” Translation: “They are (the women) your clothes and you are (the men) their clothes”. [5]
This verse means that marriage can be like a fortress against the sexual desires of men and women and keep them away from sin. “هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إلَيْهَا”
Translation: “He is the One who created you all from a single soul and made from it its mate that he might find companionship and intimacy with her.” [6]
In this verse, Allah also declares that the main attraction of men and women to each other is the feeling of peace that they find together, and this feeling is placed by Allah Himself in the existence of humans. Because every man and woman are incomplete in themselves and need each other, and their presence together creates a complete existence.
“وَلَا تَنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ” Translation: “Do not marry idolatrous women until they believe. Indeed, a believing slave girl is better than a free idolatrous woman, even if she pleases you.” [7]
This verse states one of the conditions of marriage, namely the equality of spouses. A polytheist man or woman is not an equal to a Muslim man or woman for marriage. This issue must be observed as a principle regarding marriage.
“وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِنْ طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَنْ شَيْءٍ مِنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَرِيئًا” Translation: “And give women their dowries with full satisfaction, so if they give you something of their dowry out of their pleasure and contentment, then enjoy it, which will be lawful and pleasing to you.” [8]
This verse talks about the dowry of marriage, which both men and women should be satisfied with.
“يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا” Translation: “O you who have believed! It is not lawful for you to inherit from women against your will, and do not force them to take any part of what you have given them (as dowry), unless they commit a manifest indecency. And deal with them fairly. And if you dislike them, it may be that you do not like it, and Allah places therein much good.” [9]
“وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ أَنْ يَنْكِحْنَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ إِذَا تَرَاضَوْا بَيْنَهُمْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ذَلِكَ يُوعَظُ بِهِ مَنْ كَانَ مِنْكُمْ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ ذَلِكُمْ أَزْكَى لَكُمْ وَأَطْهَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لا تَعْلَمُونَ.” Translation: “And when you have divorced women and they have completed their waiting period, do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husband, if there is a just reconciliation between them. This is a commandment that only those of you who believe in Allah and the Last Day will remember. This is more effective for your growth (in your families) and more effective for washing away impurity. Allah knows and you do not know.” [10]
“وَهُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ مِنْ الْمَاءِ بَشَرًا فَجَعَلَهُ نَسَبًا وَصِهْرًا وَكَانَ رَبُّك قَدِيرًا” Translation: “And it is He who created mankind from water, and made between them ties of kinship and marriage. And Allah has power over all things.” [11]
Since the Holy Quran, as the last book, divine plan and law, and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as its explanation and interpretation, are considered the main sources for deriving rulings, they can be a guide for human in all aspects and matters of life, especially in forming a family and the principles of marriage.
Continues…
References:
- Surah Al-Nisa, verse: 1.
- Surah Al-Rum, verse: 21.
- Surah Al-Nour, verse: 32.
- Surah Al-Nisa, verse: 3.
- Surah Al-Baqarah, verse: 187.
- Surah Al-A’raf, verse: 189.
- Surah Al-Baqarah, verse: 221.
- Surah Al-Nisa, verse: 4.
- Surah Al-Nisa, verse: 19.
- Surah Al-Baqarah, verse: 232.
- Surah Al-Furqan, verse: 54.
