Author: Um Saadiyah
One of the Advices of the Prophet (PBUH) for Women (the 7th and final)
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Encouragement to Acquire Knowledge
Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri (RA) reported: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, only men benefit from your words. Please designate a day for us women so that we may come to you and you teach us from what Allah has taught you.’ The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: ‘Gather on such-and-such day in such-and-such place.’ The women gathered, and the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) came to them and taught them from what Allah the Exalted had taught him. At the end of the gathering he said: ‘There is no woman among you who loses three children except that they will be a shield for her against the Fire.’ One woman asked: ‘And if two (children)?’ The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: ‘Even if two.’”[1]
My sister! This advice has two aspects: First, acquiring knowledge is necessary for women, and they should have eagerness to learn religion, because the good of this world and the Hereafter lies in it. Second, any woman who loses three or even two children, if she observes patience and accepts Allah’s decree, her children will serve as a shield between her and the Hellfire.
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Showing Kindness and Goodness to the Mother
Asma (RA) said: “My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist. I asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): ‘O Messenger of Allah, my mother has come to me and she expects some help from me. Should I maintain ties with her and give her assistance?’ The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: ‘Yes, keep ties with your mother and assist her.’”[2]
My sister! The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) instructed Asma to be kind and helpful to her mother, even though her mother was a polytheist. So how much more deserving of kindness and goodness would your mother be if she is a believer and monotheist! My sister, show kindness and goodness to your parents, for being dutiful to parents is an obligation. Always remember this statement of Allah the Exalted: وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا Translation: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age in your care, do not say to them even ‘uff,’ nor scold them, but speak to them with noble words.”[3]
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Prohibition of Asking for Divorce
Thawban (RA) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce without a valid reason, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden for her.”[4]
My sister! It is not correct for a woman to ask for divorce without a legitimate reason such as bad treatment or negligence from the husband. Asking for divorce without justification is not permissible, as it causes enmity and results in the loss of children. However, if the husband fails to fulfill the rights of his wife, and she fears that continuing with him will prevent her from upholding the limits of Allah, then Shari‘ah permits “Khul‘” (divorce at the wife’s initiative by returning the dowry). But first, the woman must try her utmost to save her marriage; if all efforts fail, then she may seek khul‘. As Allah the Exalted says: الطَّلَاقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُوا مِمَّا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئًا إِلَّا أَن يَخَافَا أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ Translation: “Divorce is twice; then (a man must) retain (his wife) honorably or release her with kindness. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot keep the limits of Allah. But if you fear that they will not keep the limits of Allah, then there is no blame on either of them if she ransoms herself (by returning the dowry).”[5]
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Prohibition of Disclosing Marital Secrets
Abu Sa‘id (RA) reported that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Among the worst people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is a man who goes to his wife and she goes to him, then he spreads her secrets.”[6]
My sister! Whatever happens between a husband and wife in private must remain private. Even the closest people should not know of it. A man or woman who reveals their marital secrets to others is like two devils satisfying their desires in public, exposing themselves to people’s eyes.
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Women Performing Prayer at Home
Umm Humaid, the wife of Abu Humaid al-Sa‘idi (RA), said: She came to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! I love to pray with you.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “I know that you love to pray with me, but your prayer in your room is better than your prayer in your house, and your prayer in your house is better than your prayer in your courtyard, and your prayer in your courtyard is better than your prayer in the mosque of your locality, and your prayer in the mosque of your locality is better than your prayer in my mosque.” The narrator said: After this statement of the Prophet (PBUH), she built a prayer place for herself in the farthest and darkest part of her house and prayed there until she met Allah.[7]
My sister! This hadith does not mean that it is forbidden for women to pray in mosques, but it shows that it is more virtuous for them to pray in their homes. However, they may go to the mosque for knowledge and learning about religion. Many women among the Companions (RA) prayed behind the Messenger of Allah (PBUH).
In another hadith, Ibn Umar (RA) reported that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Do not prevent your women from going to the mosques, but their houses are better for them.”[8]
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The Virtue of Remembrance and Glorification
Juwairiyah (RA) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) left her house in the morning while she was sitting in her prayer area. When he returned after the sun had risen high, she was still sitting there. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked her: “Are you still in the same state as I left you?” She replied: “Yes.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “After I left you, I said four phrases three times. If they were to be weighed against all the remembrance you have said this morning, they would outweigh it. They are: ‘Subhan Allah wa bihamdihi, ‘adada khalqihi, wa rida nafsihi, wa zinata ‘arshihi, wa midada kalimatihi’
‘Glory be to Allah and praise be to Him, by the number of His creation, by His pleasure, by the weight of His Throne, and by the ink of His words.’”[9]
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Sending Blessings Upon the Prophet (PBUH)
Abu Hurairah (RA) reported that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Whoever sends blessings upon me once, Allah the Exalted will send blessings upon him tenfold.”[10]
Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-‘As (RA) reported that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “When you hear the call to prayer, repeat what the mu’adhdhin says, then send blessings upon me, for whoever sends blessings upon me once, Allah the Exalted will send blessings upon him tenfold. Then ask Allah to grant me al-Wasilah. It is a rank in Paradise which is for only one servant of Allah, and I hope that I will be that one. Whoever asks Allah to grant me al-Wasilah will be entitled to my intercession.”[11]
My sister! In conclusion, I ask Allah the Exalted to make these pieces of advice, reminders, and admonitions beneficial for your life, a source of light for you, and that you be among those about whom Allah the Exalted says: إِنَّمَا كَانَ قَوْلَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِذَا دُعُوا إِلَى اللهِ وَرَسُولِهِ لِيَحْكُمَ بَيْنَهُمْ أَن يَقُولُوا سَمِعْنَا وَأَطَعْنَا وَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ (النور: 51) Translation: “The only response of the (true) believers, when they are called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them, is to say: ‘We hear and we obey.’ It is they who will prosper.”[12]
All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon the noblest of Prophets, and upon all his family and Companions.
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References:
[1] Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
[2] Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
[3] Surah al-Isra, Verse 23.
[4] Sahih, reported by Abu Dawud.
[5] Surah al-Baqarah, Verse 229.
[6] Reported by Muslim and Abu Dawud.
[7] Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Jami‘.
[8] Sahih, reported by Abu Dawud.
[9] Reported by Muslim, Abu Dawud, and al-Tirmidhi.
[10] Reported by Muslim.
[11] Reported by Muslim.
[12] Surah an-Nur, Verse 51.
