The Family Characteristics of Exemplary Women from the Perspective of the Glorious Qur’an
The formation of a shared life between men and women, alongside the preservation of the marital bond, dates back to the very beginning of human creation. Even in the modern era, issues related to marriage hold a special place. Marriage is among the essential needs of humanity, while separation is one of life’s most painful experiences. Therefore, the Holy Qur’an has presented principles to preserve the foundation of the family and has recommended all believing men and women to adhere to them.
Good Assumption Toward the Spouse:
Having a good opinion of one another is the first cornerstone of peace and harmony in society, and it is equally essential in family and marital life. According to the verses of the Glorious Qur’an, members of an Islamic society must think well of each other, not only rejecting baseless rumors but also confronting them. This kind of goodwill is even more essential within the family. Believing women should think well of their husbands and must not allow rumormongers to trample on their husband’s dignity—just as men are expected to maintain the same or even a higher level of goodwill toward their wives.
Observance of the Husband’s Rights:
Marital life entails mutual rights between a man and a woman. Experience has shown that whenever spouses observe these mutual rights, they enjoy a peaceful and pleasant life. But when these rights are neglected, the warmth of the family fades. Therefore, God considers a woman exemplary and worthy if she sees herself responsible for her husband’s rightful rights and never violates them. This truth is emphasized in Surah An-Nisa: “فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ” Translation: “So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.”
From this verse, we understand that one of the traits of exemplary and virtuous women is fulfilling their husband’s rights and obeying them within the bounds of Shariah and law. As narrated by Abu Umamah, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: «مَا اسْتَفَادَ الْمَرْءُ بَعْدَ تَقْوَى اللَّهِ خَيْرًا لَهُ مِنْ زَوْجَةٍ صَالِحَةٍ؛ إِنْ نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا سَرَّتْهُ، وَإِنْ أَمَرَهَا أَطَاعَتْهُ، وَإِنْ أَقْسَمَ عَلَيْهَا أَبَرَّتْهُ، وَإِنْ غَابَ عَنْهَا نَصَحَتْهُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهِ» Translation: “No believer has ever been granted anything better after piety than a righteous wife: when he looks at her, she pleases him; when he commands her, she obeys; when he swears an oath, she fulfills it; and when he is absent, she guards herself and his property.”
In this Hadith, after the blessing of piety, the status of a righteous, chaste, and honorable woman is emphasized. Truly, how fortunate and blessed is a pious believer whose life partner is God-fearing and righteous! This narration highlights several signs of a faithful and virtuous woman. Pay close attention:
1. She brings joy to her husband when he looks at her.
This is a significant sign of a well-mannered Muslim woman. The aim is that her appearance, cleanliness, and grooming should be in line with her husband’s preferences. The moment he looks at her, joy and smiles should appear on her face. When the husband returns home, her warm reception should be so pleasant that it washes away all his fatigue, replacing it with peace and joy. Not that she greets him with a frown and becomes a source of distress. Her appearance should not be such that it disappoints her husband, nor should she be careless about her looks at home while dressing extravagantly for weddings and other public events to attract others’ attention.
O Muslim and God-fearing woman, be aware: beautifying oneself before marriage to attract strangers is a sign of immodesty and moral looseness. It creates the grounds for sin and is therefore not permissible. After marriage, beautification is allowed, provided it is intended solely to please the husband, not to attract the attention of strangers and non-mahrams. According to certain narrations, a woman who beautifies herself to attract the attention of non-mahram men is regarded as being like women who pursue adultery. With such immoral conduct, it is as if she invites others to commit sins with their eyes and hearts and pulls them toward herself. Some women aim to astonish and receive praise from onlookers, making themselves like clowns in society, causing sin just for compliments. But what after that? Even if she becomes the most beautiful woman in town or the world—so what? What benefit does it bring? One day, those compliments will cease, her beauty will fade, she will age and wither—then what? How will she cleanse her blackened record of deeds with people’s praise?
No, it doesn’t work that way. It’s like hammering nails into a wooden board—removing the nails doesn’t erase the holes. This resembles sinning in youth and reaching old age without repentance; the marks remain in the book of deeds. So, before that book is blackened, abandon immodesty for the sake of something meaningless and don’t lose the success of the Hereafter over people’s words. What a dangerous and obscene sin it is to invert the truth and commit such sin without even deriving real pleasure.
2. Fulfilling a sworn request
This means that the husband trusts his wife to the extent that he takes an oath and asks her to do something, and she fulfills it—even if it’s difficult or against her desires—just to please her husband.
3. Maintaining trust in the husband’s absence
This entails not going out freely or establishing relationships with strangers. Some women, in their husbands’ absence, neglect hijab and other Islamic obligations. They are often seen wandering in markets or places where their husbands wouldn’t allow them to go and proudly engage in such misconduct! They ignore the fact that this displeases the Lord of the worlds. When speaking to non-mahrams, they show no anxiety, as if it’s not a betrayal of their husband or disobedience to Allah. They see it as mere enjoyment, forgetting that nothing is hidden from God.
Intending good with wealth means not spending it wastefully, avoiding extravagance and using household belongings with care. They do not give things away in the husband’s absence that they wouldn’t give when he’s present—whether to relatives or strangers.
Therefore, a Muslim woman who seeks complete happiness should be so kind and cheerful that when her husband returns and speaks with her, she interacts with such warmth, affection, and a smile that his tiredness and sorrow vanish, replaced with joy. And if the husband becomes pleased with her, Allah too will be pleased. Such a woman, with her good character and behavior, surely holds the ticket to Paradise.
My dear sisters! It’s not too late. If you desire Paradise, please your husbands so that through them, you may reach it.
By admin2
