Author: Umm Sadiyah
Friend Selection (Part Four)
Love for the sake of Allah is not something everyone understands correctly, nor is it accepted from just anyone who claims it. To achieve this, a person must first have a complete and accurate understanding of Allah, such that His love is deeply rooted in their heart, surpassing all else in preference and priority. This deep knowledge should then lead to a love for Allah Himself, making one prioritize deeds done for His pleasure above everything else. It is only then that a person can truly be said to love or hate for the sake of Allah—loving someone or opposing them solely for His sake.
However, when a person admires a great blessing or finds a certain manner refined and virtuous, and thus appreciates it, this is a different kind of affection. It is distinct from the love and sincerity we aim to discuss here.
The Prophet (PBUH) says: «ثلاث مَنْ كُنَّ فيه وَجَدَ حلاوة الإيمانِ وَ طَعْمَهُ: اَنْ يكونَ اللهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَحبَّ اِلَيْهِ مِمَّا سِواهُمَا، وَ اَنْ يُحِبَّ فِى الله وَ يُبْغِضَ فِى الله، وَ اَنْ تُوقَدَ نارُ عَظِيمةٌ فَيَقَعُ فِيها اَحَبُّ إِلَيهِ مِنْ أَنْ يُشْرِكَ بالله شَيْئاً» Translation: “There are three qualities that, if found in a person, allow them to truly taste the sweetness of faith: First, that they love Allah and His Messenger more than anyone else, preferring their pleasure above all else. Second, that they love others solely for the sake of Allah and hate only for His sake. Third, that if they were to see a great fire blazing, they would choose to fall into it rather than commit shirk (associating partners with Allah).” [1]
Since love for the sake of Allah is the final stage in attaining the highest levels of faith, and its fruits appear only in those who have been refined by the fire of sincerity, its outpouring is a sign of spiritual perfection and purity. Such love is deserving of the greatest reward.
The Prophet (PBUH) says: «مَا مِنْ رَجُلَيْنِ تَحابَا فِي اللهِ بِظَهْرِ الْغَيْبِ إِلا كَانَ أَحِبُّهُما إِلَى اللَّهِ أَشَدَّهُمَا حُبّاً لِصاحِبِهِ» Translation: “Two men who sincerely love each other for the sake of Allah—the one who loves his friend more is more beloved to Allah.” [2]
If both love each other equally, they will be under Allah’s protection and care. It is narrated from the Prophet (PBUH) that Allah says: «قد حُقِّتْ مَحَبَّتِى لِلَّذِينَ يَتَحَابُّونَ مِنْ أَجْلِي. وَقَدْ حُقَّتْ مَحَبَّتِي لِلَّذِينَ يَتَزَاوَرُونَ مِنْ أَجْلِي وَقد حُقِّتْ مَحَبَّتِي لِلَّذِينَ يَتَبَاذَلُونَ مِنْ أَجْلِي وَقد حُقَّتْ مَحَبَّتِي لِلَّذِينَ يَتَصَادَقُونَ مِنْ أَجْلِي» Translation: “Indeed, my love is due to those who love one another for my sake. My love is truly deserved by those who visit one another for my sake. My love is certainly for those who give to one another for My sake. And Undoubtedly, my love is for those who form bonds of friendship for My sake.” [3]
A friend’s influence on their companion is profound. Therefore, a person must carefully choose their friends and brothers, testing their sincerity to ensure their integrity.
The Prophet (PBUH) said: «المرءُ على دينِ خليلِه، فليَنظُرْ أحدُكم مَن يُخالِلُ» Translation: “A person follows the religion of their friend, so be mindful of whom you befriend and take as a companion.” [4]
If your friends are those who help you fulfill your religious duties, uphold rights, prevent wrongdoing, and avoid forbidden acts, then know that they are good friends, a source of blessing, and it is essential to hold on to them and increase your love for them. Otherwise, one must be cautious of being deceived by such friendships, as they can lead a person astray, wasting time in frivolous and harmful activities.
Indeed, a noble and righteous friend guides their companion toward success in this world and salvation in the Hereafter, while an ignorant and misguided friend brings great misfortune. Many have regretted their choice of bad companions, as they were led to the edge of destruction and the fire of Hell.
Allah says: «وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَى يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا يَا وَيْلَتَى لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنسَانِ خَذُولًا» Translation: “And on that Day, the wrongdoer (the disbeliever) will bite his hands in regret and say: ‘I wish I had taken the path with the Messenger of Allah (to Paradise) and had joined the company of the Prophets on the journey toward eternal happiness and the pleasure of Allah, the Exalted. Woe to me, what have I done to myself? I wish I had not taken so-and-so as a friend after the Qur’an had come to me, for he led me astray from the truth. Indeed, Satan has made a fool of man and degraded him.'” [5]
Continues…
[1] – Muslim.
[2] – Tabarani.
[3] – Narrated by Ahmad in Musnad and Tabarani.
[4] – Abu Dawud.
[5] – Surah Al-Furqan, verses 27-29.
