Author: Umm Sadiyah
Friend Selection (Part Three)
Any form of isolation or withdrawal from the community leads to the neglect of the duty of enjoining good and forbidding evil, or it weakens the defense of Islam against its enemies—an irreparable wrongdoing and sin.
People have different temperaments. Some find joy in large gatherings, quickly connecting with others, forming bonds, and engaging in conversations with both acquaintances and strangers. Others, when amidst crowds, build an invisible wall around themselves, cautiously observing people from behind it. If someone approaches them, they conceal themselves behind that wall of distrust.
Islam has guided both of these temperaments toward the right path. To the first group, it says: «خَالِطُ النَّاسَ، وَدِينَكَ لا تُكَلِمَنَّةُ» Translation: “Mix with people and maintain your religion and do not harm it.” To the latter, it says: «المؤْمِنُ هَيَّنُ لَيْنُ الْف مألوف» Translation: “A believer is easy-going and gentle; he becomes friendly to others, and others become friendly to him.”
In addition, Islam has also made it obligatory to avoid sedition and chaos; therefore, whenever the country becomes troubled and people turn to the world, and virtues are broken, leaving the corrupt society and staying away from corruption itself is considered a form of denial of it. This, in turn, falls within the limits of changing the evils that Allah’s law has prescribed. If you can prevent evil by force, you should do so with your hand; if that is not possible, you should use your tongue. If that is not possible either, then you must reject it with your heart and hold a stance against it. Thus, it is not right for someone who can prevent corruption with his tongue to withdraw and isolate himself, and it is certainly unacceptable if he is able to prevent corruption with his hand. Cutting off and abandoning relations is a weapon that is used wisely today, and oppressed nations have tested it against their oppressive enemies. Its status and rank, in relation to other weapons of struggle, is the same as that of seclusion and isolation compared to other methods of reform. Seclusion and isolation can be considered the refuge of those who have no other choice but to flee and save their religion.
However, when the means of extinguishing the fire of sedition are abundant and available, as we’ve said, seclusion and escape become an irreparable crime and punishment. In light of this, we can understand the meaning of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when he was asked: «اَيُّ النَّاسِ اَفْضَلُ يا رسول الله؟ قال: مُؤْمِنٌ يُجَاهِدُ بِنَفْسِهِ وَمَالِهِ فِي سَبِيلِ الله. قيلَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قال: رَجُلٌ مُعْتَزِلٌ فِي شِعْبٍ مِنَ الشِّعَابِ يَعْبُدُ رَبَّهُ» Translation: “Who is the best of all, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “A believer who strives in the way of Allah with his life and wealth.” They asked: “Then who?” He replied: “One who isolates himself in a valley away from people and worships his Lord.” [1]
It should be known that isolation and socializing cannot be two permanent human characteristics. A Muslim should divide his time between beneficial solitude and good socializing, so that he can choose each one according to his circumstances and needs.
Based on this, we choose our friends and companions and develop a desire for friendships, or we reject them. The first condition of generous friendship is that it should be free from material goals and objectives and should be pursued purely for the pleasure of Allah, nurtured in the path of faith and charity. This is the meaning of “الْحُبُّ لِلّه”. Undoubtedly, when certainty takes root in a person’s heart, and the joy and strength of faith fill his heart, he will interpret all relationships in light of the belief he has committed to, loving someone because of their faith and goodness, not because of earthly desires. If he dislikes someone, it is for that reason, not because of an absence of material benefit.
Sometimes herds gather around a pleasant or murky water source, and similarly, people meet others due to a temporary or permanent worldly issue, which may lead to lasting relationships based on mutual interests. However, this type of familiarity and friendship cannot be compared to the love, purity, cooperation, and sacrifice that arise among those of virtue and good character. Therefore, Islam has placed great importance on the feelings of pure friendship and has encouraged believers to cultivate these sentiments sincerely for the pleasure of Allah and to maintain them for His sake, providing a worthy and deserving reward. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that Allah says: «المتحابونَ بِجَلالِى فِى ظِلٍّ عَرْشِى يَوْمَ لا ظِلَّ إلا ظِلِّى» Translation: “Those who love one another for the sake of My glory and majesty will be under the shade of My Throne on the Day when there will be no shade but Mine.” [2]
It was narrated from Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: «إِنَّ مِنْ عِبَادِ الله ناساً ما هُمْ بِأَنْبِيَاءَ وَلَا شُهَداءَ يَغْبِطُهُمْ الأنبياءُ وَالشُّهَدَاءُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِمَكَانِهِمْ مِنَ الله. قالو: يا رسولَ الله فَخَبّرنا: مَنْ هُمْ؟ قال: هُمْ تَحابّوا بِرُوحِ الله عَلَى غَيْرِ أَرْحَامٍ بَيْنَهُمْ وَلَا أَمْوَالٍ يَتَعَاطُونَهَا. فَوَالله إِنَّ وُجُوهَهُمْ لَنُورٌ وَإِنَّهُمْ لَعَلى نُورٍ، وَلَا تَخَافُونَ إِذَا خَافَ النَّاسُ، وَلَا يَحْزَنُونَ إِذَا حَزِنَ النَّاسُ. وَقَالَ: أَلَا إِنَّ أَوْلِيَاءَ اللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ»
Translation: “There are indeed a group of the servants of Allah who are neither prophets nor martyrs, but the prophets and martyrs will envy their status with Allah on the Day of Resurrection.” They said: “O Messenger of Allah! Tell us who these are?” He said: “They are a people who love each other for the sake of Allah and with a spirit of seeking Allah, without any ties of kinship or financial interests. By Allah, their faces are light, and they are upon light. When people are afraid, they have no fear, and when people are sad, they have no sorrow.” And he recited the verse: “Behold! Know that there is no fear on the friends of Allah, nor will they grieve.” [3]
Continues…
[1] – Agreed upon.
[2] – Narrated by Ahmad in Musnad.
[3] – Abu Dawud.
