The way that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Interacted with His Wives
Among the ancient customs and traditions that continue to cast a shadow over families is the view of women as secrets that must be kept hidden, with the belief that their public relationships with men diminish the value and status of men. Husbands may feel a duty to prevent anyone outside their home from knowing their wives’ names. If an extremist discovers that his wife’s name has reached the ears of others, he may feel that this shame is unbearable for him. He often tries to keep his wife from accompanying him on walks or sitting next to him in public gatherings and places. If there is a necessity for her to accompany him, he chooses to position her behind him to obscure the fact that she is with him.
This was the way of some families who wholeheartedly accepted this deviant custom. It is neither stated in the Quran nor proven from any hadith that a woman is a shameful secret who should be removed from the public sphere, nor that her public relationships with men will diminish a man’s value and status. Rather, what the Quran decrees and what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) practiced is correct and stands in contrast to this superstitious belief. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not feel guilty walking with his wife; he did not experience shame or humiliation in introducing or mentioning her. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would leave his home with his wives and walk with them publicly.
In a hadith, it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was walking with his wife Safiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) at night when two Ansar men passed by. Upon seeing the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), they hurriedly moved away. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) called to them and said: “Move slowly; this lady is my wife, Safiyyah bint Hayy.” They replied: “Subhan Allah, O Messenger of Allah.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) remarked: “Indeed, Satan flows in the veins of a person-like blood, and I feared that he would put evil in your hearts.”
It is important to note that the guidance regarding walking with one’s wife without suspicion applied during the time of the Sahaba of the Prophet (peace be upon him). In today’s world, characterized by sedition and corruption, one should exercise caution, especially in unnecessary situations. However, when there is a need, one should take care of his wife regardless of public opinion. For instance, some individuals may refuse to take their wives to the doctor due to customs that they believe contravene their dignity and that of their family.
One scholar has said: “Know that good manners do not mean you do not experience harm from your wife; rather, true good conduct is about enduring her harm and abuse, being patient in the face of her anger and wrath, and seeking to emulate the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) in this regard. The wives of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sometimes argued with him, and one of them might often be angry with him from night until morning.”
When we observe this exemplary behavior from the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)—the Prophet of humanity and leader of mankind—every man should strive to cultivate kindness and cheerfulness in his home and towards his wives, to bring joy to their hearts. This will help alleviate the severity of life and lighten the burdens of responsibilities. In this regard, let us take inspiration from the great Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
