Author: Um Ayesha
The Position of Women in Islam (Part 39)
Let Us Not Prefer Sons Over Daughters
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever has a daughter and does not bury her alive, nor insult her, nor prefer his son over her, Allah Almighty will admit him to Paradise.”
This hadith outlines three conditions that, if fulfilled, qualify a person for Paradise:
1. He should not bury his daughter alive, as was the practice among the people of the pre-Islamic period.
2. He should not insult or humiliate her. Instead of considering her worthless, he should recognize her worth and strive to educate, train, and discipline her.
3. He should not prefer his son over his daughter. We will elaborate on this point below.
During the pre-Islamic era, some individuals preferred sons over daughters to the extent that they expressed anger towards their wives for giving birth to girls or even abandoned them. The preference for boys stemmed from the belief that sons would provide support in wars and conflicts, fighting alongside their fathers against enemies. However, when the bright sun of Islam illuminated the world, it emphasized the virtue of educating girls and proclaimed the reward that Allah grants to those who do so. Islam made kindness toward girls a means of drawing closer to Allah Almighty—a path that saves both Muslim men and women from Hell and leads them to Paradise.
Therefore, it is inappropriate to differentiate between girls and boys, as both are gifts and blessings from Allah Almighty. The origins of the preference for boys in their treatment of both genders stem from the ignorance of pre-Islamic times, and unfortunately, remnants of this belief still exist among some people. The prevalence of this mindset varies, depending on the strength or weakness of their faith.
Another crucial issue that parents of girls should pay attention to is avoiding discrimination between children. If daughters perceive this bias, they may develop resentment towards their parents. Some parents unfairly favor their sons over their daughters, which can incite feelings of resentment and disobedience in the heart of the siblings. Such parents often forget that they must observe justice among their children.
Effects and Consequences of the Preference for Boys Over Girls
It is alarming that, due to this unjustified preference, thousands of girls lose their lives each year. This tragic reality reflects the remnants of pre-Islamic ignorance. “Every day, 2,000 girls are killed in their mothers’ wombs,” remarked Manika Gandhi, India’s Minister for Women and Child Development, in an interview with the NDTV news network. “Some are suffocated by pillows as soon as they are born.”
This ignorant custom does not exclusively exist in Western or non-Muslim countries; it also sometimes appears in Islamic nations. There are instances where families express disappointment at the birth of girls. Health professionals in Kabul have reported that women face humiliation from their husbands and their families for giving birth to daughters. Consequently, some mothers display indifference or a lack of love toward their daughters, as they are blamed by their families. It’s important to note that a woman has no control over the sex of her child; it is Allah Almighty who determines whether to grant a son or daughter to whom He wills.
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