Islam places the rights of the mother above those of the father, emphasizing her elevated dignity and the importance of a strong relationship with her. While both parents deserve respect, the mother’s rights have been particularly highlighted in Islamic teachings. The Holy Qur’an illustrates the efforts and sacrifices of mothers with the following verse: «وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ» Translation: (We commanded man regarding his parents; his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and nursed him for two years.)
Respecting a mother’s rights and showing kindness towards her takes precedence over similar actions towards the father. A hadith narrated by Hazrat Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) illustrates this: A man approached the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked, “O Messenger of Allah, who is most deserving of my good behavior?” The Prophet responded, “Your mother.” The man then asked, “Who else?” The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” This exchange continued, with the Prophet mentioning the mother three times, finally stating, “Your father.”
Sheikh Abd al-Rahman explains that the Prophet mentioned the father last because a person may see the hardships and labors his father endures for protection and provision. In contrast, he does not perceive the lengths his mother went to while carrying him in her womb or tending to him as an infant. This is why the mother is given multiple mentions in terms of her rights. Ibn Battal elaborates on the hadith, noting that the mother’s rights are three times greater than the father’s, linked to the significant burdens of: 1) carrying the child; 2) enduring pregnancy; and 3) nursing. The mother shouldered these challenges alone, while the father has a more supportive role in the upbringing of the children. Some argue that the mother excels in goodness, kindness, and compassion, while the father’s role primarily involves leadership in obedience.
It was narrated from Hazrat Ata bin Dinar (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man approached the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and inquired, “O Messenger of Allah! Which parent has the greater right?” The Prophet responded, “The one who carried you at her sides, nursed you at her breast, cradled you in her arms, cared for you, and selflessly sacrificed for you.”
The mother’s role compared to the father’s is crucial across all domains of social life. The mother is considered the primary teacher of societal culture. After a child is born, they are immersed in a cultural environment that is imparted through their parents and family members. The influence of the mother—who speaks the child’s first words and instills the first ideas in their mind—far exceeds that of others. A mother can instill thoughts, shape traits in her child, guide them toward good or evil, and establish the foundation of right and wrong in their hearts. Thus, it can be said that societal culture is crafted by mothers; the child begins life with a clean slate in terms of social awareness, and the mother writes the first words and letters on this blank page, drawing both beautiful and troubling images upon it. She introduces the child to life’s principles and customs by nurturing their early speech.
A narration illustrates this further: a person approached the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! I wish to go to jihad, but I want to consult with you first.” The Messenger replied, “Do you have a mother?” Upon receiving an affirmative response, he instructed, “Go and stay with her; for paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.”
From the verses and hadiths mentioned above, it is evident that a mother’s rights are double those of the father. Children are duty-bound to fulfill their mothers’ rights by being good to them, meeting their needs, showing obedience, refraining from causing them any harm—even with words like “uff” (a light expression of annoyance)—and respecting and honoring their status. Expressing gratitude for their endless sacrifices is also paramount.
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