The Criteria for Choosing a Spouse from the Islamic Perspective (Part Five)
4. To Have Family Authenticity and Honor
One important principle established by Islam for choosing a future wife is to base the choice on her decency and family integrity. This means that the life partner and future wife should come from a noble and rooted family known among people for their honor, purity, competence, and ethics. People are, in essence, like mines that differ in terms of originality, inferiority, corruption, and moral health.
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) encourages those interested in marriage to choose a spouse based on authenticity, honor, purity, and moral competence, guiding them to select partners who have grown and developed in a decent environment with noble families and have honorable backgrounds. From the perspective of genetics and medical science, the influence of ancestry on offspring is significant.
The wisdom behind these recommendations may lie in the fact that providing a strong foundation for a child’s existence from the beginning is vital. A child’s character and temperament are shaped by valuable habits and Islamic morals, and during their childhood, they learn moral virtues from this elevated source. Consequently, their characteristics and behaviors are shaped positively through this nurturing environment.
For this reason, when Uthman bin Abi al-Aas Thaqafi advised his children to choose a pure lineage and to avoid a wife from a bad origin, he said: “O my children! A married person is like a person who plants a sapling. He must be very careful about the land in which his sapling is planted. A bad root and principle do not yield good children or results. So be diligent in your choice, no matter how long it takes.”
Another testament to the importance of such a choice is the response of Umar ibn Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, when asked, “What is the right of a child over his father?” He replied: “That he chooses a good mother for him, gives him a good name, and teaches him the Qur’an.” Therefore, if individuals interested in marriage wish to succeed in their married life and raise dignified children from a pure lineage, it is crucial to exercise great care in selecting their spouse.
