The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (Part 148)
Educational Lessons from the Life of the Messenger of Allah, Prophet Muhammad Mustafa (PBUH)
The Conditions of the World Before the Birth and Prophethood of the Leader of Both Worlds, the Noble Messenger (PBUH)
The Conditions of the Countries and Nations of the World Before Islam
4. The Arabs
Marriage (Nikah)
Marriage during the Age of Ignorance (Jahiliyyah) was practiced in several customary forms, and people did not consider any of them shameful. As the mother of the believers, Bibi Aishah (RA), stated, “Marriage during the Age of Ignorance was practiced in four forms.
The first form was the same type of marriage that is commonly practiced among people today: a man would approach another man and ask for the hand of a girl or woman under his guardianship, pay her dowry, and marry her.
The second form was that, after a woman had become pure from menstruation, her husband would tell her, ‘Send for so-and-so and have relations with him.’ The husband would then keep away from his wife and would not approach her at all until it became clear that she had become pregnant by the man with whom she had relations. Once her pregnancy was confirmed, her husband could resume relations with her if he wished. He did this because he wanted to have a child of a nobler social lineage. This type of marriage was called istibda,’ meaning seeking sexual relations with a man in order for the woman to become pregnant by him.
Another form was that a group of men, numbering fewer than ten, would gather and have relations with the same woman. Afterward, when the woman became pregnant and gave birth, she would send for those men. None of them could refuse to come to her. Then she would point to one of them and say, ‘This child belongs to you,’ and he had no choice but to accept the child as his own.
The fourth form of marriage was that some women would place special flags on the roofs of their houses. Any man who approached one of these women could have relations with her without any restriction. When such a woman gave birth, the child would be attributed to one of the men who had relations with her, based on physical resemblance between him and the newborn.” [1]
Divorce
When divorcing their wives, the Arabs were not bound by any fixed limit on the number of divorces. A man would divorce his wife and then take her back, and he would continue doing this indefinitely. This practice continued in the early period of Islam until Allah Almighty revealed the following verse: “الطَّلَاقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَأْخُذُوا مِمَّا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئًا إِلَّا أَنْ يَخَافَا أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ فَلَا تَعْتَدُوهَا وَمَنْ يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ [2]” Translation: “Divorce is twice; then either retain [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot maintain the limits set by Allah (SWT). If you fear that they cannot maintain the limits set by Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning what she gives to ransom herself. These are the limits set by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits set by Allah—it is they who are the wrongdoers.” [3]
Islam also restricted the number of divorces and gave the husband an opportunity to reconsider his decision after the first or second divorce and, if he deemed it appropriate, take his wife back. However, after the third divorce, the marital bond is completely dissolved, and the woman is no longer lawful for her former husband unless she marries another man and that husband subsequently divorces her. Only then does she become lawful for her first husband again.
As stated in the Holy Qur’an: فَإِنْ طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِنْ بَعْدُ حَتَّىٰ تَنْكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ فَإِنْ طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا” أَنْ يَتَرَاجَعَا إِنْ ظَنَّا أَنْ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ يُبَيِّنُهَا لِقَوْمٍ يَعْلَمُونَ” [4] Translation: “And if he divorces her [for the third time], she is not lawful for him afterward until she marries another husband. Then, if the latter divorces her, there is no blame upon them if they return to each other [in marriage], provided they believe that they can maintain the limits set by Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know.” [5]
When we examine Arab society, we find that it faced numerous difficulties in religious, political, moral, and social matters, particularly in family affairs. Women were not given their proper value or status. Some people buried their daughters alive, deprived women of their right to inheritance, and committed other forms of injustice within society and families.
Therefore, Arab society was in serious need of divine guidance and leadership.
