Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (part 66)
Sixth Lesson: Justice among children removes jealousy from their hearts
Parents must observe justice and kindness in their dealings with their children; for justice means fairness among them, while mercy requires that greater compassion and attention be given to the child who is more in need.
The main cause of the suffering and hardship of Prophet Yusuf (PBUH) was that Prophet Ya‘qub (PBUH) loved him more than his other sons. This love filled the hearts of Yusuf’s brothers with jealousy and led them to think of removing Yusuf (PBUH), hoping that their father’s love would return to them and that they too would receive Ya‘qub’s attention. However, in managing their affair, they committed several major mistakes:
First: Love is an inclination of the heart over which a person does not have complete control. At times, without intention or choice, a person develops love for someone. This is a spiritual matter, and it is only recognized through its signs.
Second: The love of Ya‘qub (PBUH) for Yusuf (PBUH) was the result of special qualities that Yusuf possessed and his brothers did not. The father saw these qualities in him, and his heart was drawn to him. This love was so deep and natural that Ya‘qub (PBUH) could not restrain his heart from it. Perhaps Allah Almighty placed this intense love in the father’s heart so that, when the trial of separation from Yusuf (PBUH) occurred, the level of Ya‘qub’s patience and the rank of his servitude would become manifest. If his love had been ordinary, this great trial would not have occurred, and people would not have learned this important lesson: that one should not give preferential affection to one child, because doing so leads to jealousy and enmity among children and causes the family to fall apart.
Third: Removing Yusuf (PBUH) from his father did not transfer the father’s love to them, because Ya‘qub (PBUH) was certain that it was the brothers themselves who had removed Yusuf (PBUH) from him. Moreover, they did not possess the necessary qualities to fill Yusuf’s place in their father’s heart. Their action caused the father to grieve at seeing them and to regard them as the cause of his hardship and suffering. If a wolf had truly eaten Yusuf (PBUH), or if others had taken him away, and if the brothers themselves had possessed good qualities, perhaps the father’s love would have returned to them. But none of these conditions were present.
Thus, they committed a grave act, including: severing the ties of kinship, disobeying their father, showing cruelty toward an innocent child, and causing pain to an elderly father who held honor and a high rank with Allah. They separated a father from his beloved son; a father who was old and weak, and a child who was in need of affection and a father’s embrace. May Allah forgive them, for they committed a very great and serious deed. [1]
After this incident, the brothers of Yusuf (PBUH) always occupied a position in their father’s eyes such that seeing them caused him pain, because Yusuf (PBUH) was not among them, and the memory of their evil deed disturbed the mind of Ya‘qub (PBUH). From this it becomes clear that a father or a teacher should not confine his love and attention to only one child or student while depriving others. Such behavior fills hearts with rancor and jealousy and prepares the ground for the whisperings of Satan. Although love is an inclination of the heart that is not always under a person’s control, a person can behave in a way that allows all children to taste his affection and feel justice within the home, so that all may have a healthy relationship filled with love and free from jealousy. [2]
Therefore, it is incumbent upon fathers and mothers to give special attention to this important educational matter, namely “justice among children,” so that the seeds of jealousy and hatred are not planted in their hearts. They must also exert every effort to strengthen love among sisters and brothers so that their lives may be filled with tranquility and happiness.
If a father or mother has greater affection for one of their children, they must be careful not to show preference for that child in outward behavior, because openly favoring one child ignites jealousy and resentment and opens the door to the trials of Satan, resulting in events that do not have a good ending.
Seventh Lesson: Lying to One’s Father and Mother Is a Grave Crime and a Form of Undutifulness
In the statement of the brothers of Yusuf (PBUH) to their father: “قَالُواْ يَا أَبَانَا مَا لَكَ لَا تَأْمَنَّا عَلَىٰ يُوسُفَ وَإِنَّا لَهُ لَنَاصِحُونَ * أَرْسِلْهُ مَعَنَا غَدًا يَرْتَعْ وَيَلْعَبْ وَإِنَّا لَهُ لَحَافِظُونَ [3] ” Translation: They said: “O our father, why do you not trust us with Yusuf, while indeed we are sincere advisers to him? Send him with us tomorrow that he may enjoy himself and play, and indeed we will surely be his guardians.”
All of this was while they had already resolved in their hearts to eliminate him and were plotting an evil plan against him. Therefore, their words were a clear lie to their father.
Lying is prohibited in Islamic law, and Allah, the Exalted, has threatened liars with disgrace on the Day of Resurrection, as He says: “وَيَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ تَرَى الَّذِينَ كَذَبُوا عَلَى اللَّهِ وُجُوهُهُم مُّسْوَدَّةٌ ۚ أَلَيْسَ فِي جَهَنَّمَ مَثْوًى لِّلْمُتَكَبِّرِينَ [4]” Translation: On the Day of Resurrection, you will see those who lied about Allah with their faces blackened. Is there not in Hell an abode for the arrogant?
And the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: (The sign of a hypocrite is three: when he speaks, he lies…) [5]
Likewise, the decision of the brothers of Yusuf (PBUH) to separate him from their father was a form of undutifulness and disobedience toward their father, because they lied to him, concealed the truth from him, and deceived him so that he would believe their words. Such deception is among the worst forms of undutifulness. Undutifulness to parents is counted in Islam among the gravest of major sins.
To be Continued…
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References:
[1]. [Amad uldin Abi al-Fid Ismail, Ibn Kathir, Tafsir al-Qur’an al-‘Azim, vol. 2, p. 470]
[2]. [Muhammad as-Sayyid al-Wakil, Nazrat fi Ahsan al-Qasas, vol. 1, p. 211]
[3]. [Yusuf: 11–12]
[4]. [Az-Zumar: 60]
[5]. [Al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Iman, Hadith no. 33; Muslim, Kitab al-Iman, Hadith no. 208; At-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Iman, Hadith no. 2631]
