Author: Um Saadiyah
One of the Advices of the Prophet (PBUH) for Women (Part two)
  1. Bearing the Responsibility of Trust
Bukhari and Muslim narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“All of you are guardians and are responsible, and each of you will be asked about that which has been entrusted to you. The ruler is a guardian and will be asked about his subjects. A man is responsible for his family. A woman is responsible for her home, her furnishings, and her children. So all of you are guardians, and all of you will be asked about what has been entrusted to you.”
My sister! You are responsible for your husband and your children. So be a righteous wife who pleases her husband and obeys him in what does not involve disobedience to Allah, for there is no obedience to any created being when it involves disobedience to the Creator. Always remember the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Three things bring happiness, and three things bring misery. The three things that bring happiness are: 1. a righteous wife, 2. a suitable home, 3. a good means of transportation. And the three things that bring misery are: 1. a bad wife, 2. an unsuitable home, 3. a bad means of transportation.”
Yes, my sister! The happiness or misery of your family lies in your hands. So be a righteous wife who knows how to bring joy into her husband’s heart and take care of his affairs. Always be a sincere and compassionate mother to your children, guiding them and treating them with justice so that Allah and His Messenger will be pleased with you. Always keep in mind the command of Allah the Almighty:
“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an 66:6)
  1. Giving Charity to One’s Husband and Family
It is narrated from Zainab al-Thaqafiyyah, the wife of Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“O women, give charity, even if it be from your jewelry.”
Zainab said: I returned to Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud and told him: “You are a poor man, and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded us to give charity. So go and ask the Messenger of Allah whether I can give my charity to you. If it is permissible, then it will be good; otherwise, I will give it to someone else.” Abdullah said: “You go and ask him yourself.”
Zainab said: So I went myself to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). When I reached his house, I found another woman from the Ansar waiting at the door, and both of us had come to ask about the same matter. Allah had placed awe in the heart for the Messenger of Allah, so when Bilal (may Allah be pleased with him) came out, we said to him: “Go to the Messenger of Allah and tell him: two women are at your door asking whether it is permissible to give their charity to their husbands and to the orphans in their care. But do not tell him who we are.”
Bilal went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked him our question. The Messenger of Allah said: “Who are those two women?” Bilal replied: “One is a woman from the Ansar and the other is Zainab.” The Messenger of Allah asked: “Which Zainab?” Bilal replied: “The wife of Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud.” Then the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“They will have two rewards: the reward of giving charity and the reward of maintaining family ties.”
  1. Giving Charity from the Husband’s Wealth with His Permission
It is narrated from Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If a woman spends from her husband’s household provisions, without intending harm, she will have a reward for what she gives, her husband will have a reward for what he earned, and the servant will have a reward too, without any of them losing anything from the reward of the others.”
My sister! You may give charity from what your husband brings home, as long as you do not intend corruption or harm, and your husband is pleased with it. But if your husband is not pleased, then pay attention to this hadith: Muslim narrated from Asma bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with them both) that she came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: “O Prophet of Allah, I have nothing except what al-Zubair brings home. May I give some of it in charity?”
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Give charity according to your ability, and do not withhold, lest Allah withhold from you.”
The word “radkh” mentioned in the hadith means a small gift. The meaning is that small charitable acts, which al-Zubair was content with, are permissible. Charity has levels, some higher than others, and al-Zubair was pleased with them all, so you should choose the best of them.
Imam al-Nawawi explained this hadith by saying: “Permission is of two types: explicit permission from the husband to give charity, and implied permission understood from custom and habit. For example, giving a piece of bread to a beggar is something accepted in custom, and husbands are generally pleased with it. This applies when the husband is known to be agreeable, like most people who overlook such small matters. But if there is no such custom, or there is doubt about the husband’s consent, or if the husband is stingy and his situation indicates he would not be pleased, then it is not permissible for the wife or anyone else to give charity from his wealth without his explicit permission.”
Continues…

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