Author: Abdul Hai Lay'yan
The Divine Education Model in the Family of the Prophets (part 72)
Lesson Twenty: Wisdom and calmness in dealing with children is the best way to correct their deviations.
When Prophet Yusuf (PBUH) kept his brother Binyamin with him after the king’s measuring cup was found in his baggage, his brothers tried to save him from enslavement and captivity. Their efforts reflected their good nature, loyalty to their promise, honesty, trustworthiness, and kindness toward their father.
Likewise, their agreement to tell the truth to their father and to report exactly what they had witnessed is clear evidence that they had truly repented, returned to the right path, and turned back to their Lord. Thus, they became truthful, righteous people, faithful to their covenants and eager to earn their father’s pleasure.
These noble qualities and praiseworthy characteristics are matters that every Muslim should embody in his life: in his relationship with Allah, with himself, with his parents, siblings, spouse, and children, and with all people.
Similarly, anyone who has disobeyed his parents, severed ties of kinship, or harmed others is obliged to repent, refrain from sin, and perform deeds that bring about divine pleasure, so that Allah may accept him among the repentant.
As for fathers and mothers, if they observe that their children have deviated from the straight path and fallen into unlawful acts, it is their duty to address these matters with wisdom, calmness, dignity, and self-restraint, so that they can maintain control of the situation and succeed in correcting such deviations, in a way that leads the children to abandon their slips and return to the right course.
Lesson Twenty-One: Sincerity of faith in Allah and strength of certainty in Him create steadfastness in the heart that never remains without fruit.
When the sons of Prophet Ya‘qub (PBUH) informed him about the loss of his second son, Binyamin, and even his being taken into bondage, the power of Ya‘qub’s faith and the depth of his certainty in the Lord of the worlds became manifest in his response. He said to his sons: «بَلْ سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ أَمْرًا فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ عَسَى اللَّهُ أَنْ يَأْتِيَنِي بِهِمْ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْعَلِيمُ الْحَكِيمُ [1]. » Translation: “Rather, your souls have enticed you to something, so beautiful patience is fitting. Perhaps Allah will bring them all back to me. Indeed, He is the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.”
This was the same statement he had uttered on the day Yusuf (PBUH) was lost; however, this time he added a new hope to it: the hope of the return of Yusuf and his brother, and also the hope of the return of his other son who had remained in Egypt.
Then he said that Allah is fully aware of his condition, knows what lies behind the veil of these events and trials, and brings every matter to pass at its proper time and in accordance with His perfect wisdom.
This light of hope and this tranquility where did they shine upon the heart of this grief-stricken old man from? This light sprang from hope in Allah, a firm connection with Him, and a constant sense of His presence and mercy an awareness that becomes manifest in the hearts of Allah’s chosen ones and is, for them, truer and deeper than every tangible and observable reality.
Lesson Twenty-Two: A strong emotional bond between parents and children, and parents’ sorrow over their children’s suffering, is a natural disposition; provided it is not accompanied by disobedience to Allah.
The sorrow of Prophet Ya‘qub (PBUH) over his two sons—to the extent that his eyes turned white from intense weeping—is a definitive proof and a clear sign of the great virtue and lofty status of fathers and of their immense rights. It also expresses the natural attachment of parents to their children, their deep concern for their condition, their joy at their joy, and their grief over their pain and loss.
For this reason, Allah the Exalted has given numerous exhortations in the Noble Qur’an concerning parents, and the Noble Messenger of Islam (PBUH) has repeatedly emphasized, in the pure Sunnah, the rights of parents and kindness toward them.
In the statement of Ya‘qub (PBUH) when he said: «يَا أَسَفَى عَلَى يُوسُفَ [3] » Translation: “Oh, my sorrow over Yusuf!”
there is an indication of the permissibility of grief and weeping at the time of calamity, for such states are not within a person’s control. What is prohibited and blameworthy is wailing, screaming, striking the face and chest, and tearing garments.
Al-Hasan al-Basri (RA), regarding weeping over one’s child or otherwise, said: when he was asked whether there is any problem in it, he replied: “I did not see that Allah made sorrow a disgrace or shame for Ya‘qub.” [4]
Prophet Ya‘qub (PBUH) felt grief at the loss of Yusuf (PBUH), but he did not make istirjā‘; because according to the statement of Sa‘id ibn Jubayr (RA) istirjā‘ was granted only to the Ummah of the Prophet (PBUH). Thus you hear Ya‘qub (PBUH) saying: «يَا أَسَفَى [5] »; whereas istirjā‘ that is, saying «إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون» translation: we are from Allah and we will go to Allah , is among the distinctions of the Ummah of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), to whom Allah granted the best and most complete remembrance.[6]
Continues…
References:
-
(Yusuf: 83)
-
(Muhammad, Sayyid Qutb, Fi Zilal al-Qur’an, vol. 4, p. 2025)
-
(Yusuf: 86)
-
(Muhammad Jamal al-Din ibn Muhammad, al-Qasimi, Mahasin al-Ta’wil, vol. 9, p. 268)
-
(‘Imad al-Din Abu al-Fida’ Isma‘il, Ibn Kathir, Tafsir al-Qur’an al-‘Azim, vol. 2, p. 487)
-
(‘Imad Zuhayr, Hafiz, al-Qisas al-Qur’ani bayn al-Aba’ wa-al-Abna’, p. 215)
