Dear Islam commands and advises us to speak good to people and consider good taste when talking to them; Where the Lord of the world says: «وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا»”Speak good and decent words to people”(Al-Baghrah, V83)
People like to be spoken softly and sweetly, and to be given the opportunity to speak; If you want people to hate you, just interrupt them and put a space between their words and don’t give them a chance to speak and present their own theory. During the conversation, both sides should give each other a chance and practice the tradition of saying “one” and listening “two”.
Let’s learn the taste and politeness of speech from our beloved Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace: When Utbah bin Rabi’ah, one of the leaders of the infidels, came to our beloved Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and stood in front of him and said: Listen, my nephew; I want to raise some issues for you and hear your opinion, maybe you will accept some of them. The Holy Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “«قل یا ابا الولید أسمع»” (Talk, Abu Walid! I am listening.)
He said: O my nephew! If the goal of what you are doing is money and wealth, we will collect for you from our money, so that you become the richest person! If the goal of this work is property and kingdom, we will choose you as our king and… What a Ridiculous option: property, kingdom and…!
But look at the good manners of the beloved Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Be upon him, and his politeness. First, because of his gentleness, he addressed him with his smile and said to him: “Say, Abu Waleed, I am listening.” He did not interrupt his speech and after Utbah finished his speech, he said: «افرغت یا ابالولید؟»? (Have you finished talking, Abu Waleed?)
He said yes, then the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “Now listen to my words!” Later, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, told them his words. Islam teaches us the manners of conversation and speech with all people in this way (the manners of the conversation of the Prophet of Allah with Utbah bin Rabi’ah).
And another example of the Prophet’s speech style was this, when he did not like someone’s action, he would not mention his name expressly; Rather, he used to say: “We are among the people who do such and such” (Why do some people do such and such.)
In order to respect the feelings of others, he did not specify; In fact, this is the height of good taste, politeness and decency. But unfortunately, if we don’t like someone’s action, we remind him at least ten times by mentioning his name, tribe, etc.
One of the other examples of good taste; Hazrat Yusuf peace be upon him. He was a beautiful and very tasteful prophet; We all read and hear his story in the Quran; What tests he was subjected to, even his brothers tried to kill him; But even so, when his brothers were with him; As mentioned in the Holy Quran, he said: “«وَقَدْ أَحْسَنَ بِی إِذْ أَخْرَجَنِی مِنَ السِّجْنِ»” “Truly God has been kind and good to me, because He has freed me from prison.” (Al-Yusef, V100).
Why did Yusuf (peace Be upon him) mention the prison only here? Because his brothers were in his presence and if he mentioned the well, he would hurt their feelings. This is great etiquette and taste that Allah teaches us in the Qur’an.
And still, one of the other cases of speaking good taste is respecting the other side, speaking according to the state of the audience and giving him the opportunity to speak; As the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) spoke to anyone, he listened carefully to his words, stood in front of him completely and treated him with love and kindness. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: Whenever a man spoke to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, he would bow his head or raise it so that he would not get into trouble.
Therefore, while meeting a person, paying attention to and listening to his speech and treating him with love is one of the manners of conversation and also shows the good taste of a Muslim person.
A good-natured and polite Muslim speaks soft and sweet words during conversation and refrains from saying Harsh, Brutal and Bad words; Because he knows that soft words have a special effect on attracting affection and reforming a person; When the Almighty Allah sent Moses and his brother Harun to Pharaoh, he gave them the command:
«اذْهَبا إِلی فِرْعَوْنَ إِنَّهُ طَغی فَقُولا لَهُ قَوْلاً لَینًا لَعَلَّهُ یتَذَکَّرُ أَوْ یخْشی.» “Go to the pharaoh, who has rebelled. Speak to him gently, may he be advised.”(Taha, Verses 43-44) it is clear from this, that soft and beautiful speech has a great effect on admonishing and attracting love; As the Prophet of Islam, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, converted many people to Islam with his good manners and words, and changed the path from the turbulent and misguidance to the path of guidance and light.
Therefore, if you want to stand out as a unique person in the society; Institutionalize politeness and good taste into your being and nature; in this way, you can provide rich and good services to the religion and the nation!
Summary:
Including good taste in speech:
1. To speak well, softly and appropriately
2. To speak wisely and according to the mood
3. One thing to say and two things to hear
4. Understanding and listening to the words of the other side
5. Failure to name a person whose actions are objectionable
6. Not to say useless words
7. Using appropriate and beautiful movements during speech
8. Not to speak in front of professors and elders without permission
9. Avoiding exaggeration and showing off in speech
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